I have probably written about this before, but it’s a lesson I (apparently) have to keep on learning.

This past week, my husband was out of town. My toddler had been staging a sleep strike, skipping naps, staying up late, and just being “2”. Finally, one night she went to sleep early! (Can I get a hallelujah!?)

It was a perfect night for that, as I was super tired and running on no coffee. Instead of going right to sleep or getting some time to myself to watch something on TV other than ‘Little Baby Bum‘ or a ‘doggie’ movie before passing out, I spent some time praying, reading the Word, and worshipping with some music. (Anyone else just love the song ‘The Blessing”?)

It was a wonderful time with the Lord! As I was about to lie down, baby girl woke back up and was inconsolable. She fell asleep a couple times, but just couldn’t get settled and kept waking up upset. I finally got her calmed down and then, naturally, the dog started whining from being put up for the night. I brought him out to get him to stop, but he continued. So at nearly midnight, I’m outside holding an overly tired toddler and walking the dog. We come back in and that whole process happens again. At this point, I was frustrated and found myself asking two questions:

1) Why these things were happening after spending time with the Lord… surely, good things should have followed, right?

Sometimes I find myself acting like I deserve a gold star for making the right choice. My heart knows better though; I worship God for who He is, not for what He can do. God directed my attention and reminded me that Jesus made ALL the right choices. He spent one of His final nights praying and seeking God, and was then, still, crucified. He even prayed for the cup to be passed from Him if possible (Luke 22:42a). I know I have prayed for things not to happen – and they still happen. The truth is, prayer and worship doesn’t always change our circumstances, but it should change our reactions to them.

2) Well then, I should have at least felt more spiritual and not gotten frustrated, right?

In the same chapter of Luke, Jesus was so distraught with what was about to happen that He was sweating blood, even after just being strengthened by an angel from heaven! (Luke 22:43-44) I tend to be hard on myself and think that I’m not allowed to have any negative emotions. (Anyone else out there ever feel that way?) We can have human emotions, but we do have to keep them in check. The Bible doesn’t say to not be angry; it says to “be angry, and do not sin.” (Ephesians 4:26 NKJV) Now, I will be honest – I did not handle things perfectly while being so tired and out walking the dog at midnight, but I know the Spirit was working (and continues to work on me daily). I kept reminding myself that the devil was just mad, and I had to get it back together.

Going back to the passage in Luke one more time, after praying for the cup to be passed, Jesus continued with ‘nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.’ (Luke 22:42b NKJV). We can pray for what we want, but what we should pray for and want more than anything else is the will of God. If we are doing what He has called us to do… if we are obedient and do the right things….if we pray and spend that time with Him, things may not turn out like we hope, pray, or even expect – we might even get frustrated – but we must press on and know that whatever does happen WILL be His Will, and what’s more perfect that that?

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1-2